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Adding Aftercare to Your Regimen

A secret key to relationship longevity or a commitment killer?

Author

Garco B
July 09, 2025

A concept that unfortunately eludes a lot of single individuals (especially men) is aftercare. It's what you prefer to happen once sex is over, and if you're having sex with the intention of creating a lasting, fruitful relationship of any kind, it can make or break the experience. We're going to explore six different forms of aftercare and what each is good for, with some data to support their effectiveness. Pack it up come and goers; this one's for the people who plan to stick around. 

Cuddling

The most common form of aftercare, prolonged body contact, such as through cuddling, is clinically proven to reduce cortisol levels. That can benefit both parties in a variety of ways, such as improved sleep, heightening the immune system, reducing stress and anxiety, and potentially lowering blood pressure. Go ahead and give your partner the cuddles once the deed is done. 

Conversation

You may not realize it, but post sex conversations can be a game changer. Self disclosure is well documented to have a positive effect on personal relationships. As noted in research by Kathryn Greene for Rutgers University, "Disclosing about positive personal events was associated with increases in daily positive affect as well higher relationship wellbeing (including intimacy and marital satisfaction) and was even more beneficial if the listener responded in an active and constructive manner to the information." So if your goal is building a stronger bond with your sex partner, this is likely the best aftercare for you. 

Showering Together

Although there is little in the way of clinical research to back it up, many people report showering together as a way to build or strengthen intimacy. It can be fun, silly, relaxing, and helps partners feel comfortable with each other’s bodies. Plus, we could all use a little help scrubbing those hard to reach areas. 

Affirmations

Sex can be a daunting task for some, and whether they admit it or not, most people worry about their performance. Offering affirmations—such as what you enjoyed or how well your partner did—can help boost your partner's confidence and make them more excited about doing it with you again. It can even help move the conversation toward things you’d like to happen in the next round.

Massages

You might never think to place this activity after the sex, but the truth is, an intense session can leave you sore. If you still have any energy left, a brief massage can help relax both parties, and might even be the bridge to a second session. 

Food

Yes, eating can be a form of aftercare. Surely, you've wrapped up a session and made a B-line to the refrigerator at some point in the past. Sharing a meal with your partner can be the perfect way to close out the experience. 

Remember, food helps promote the release of dopamine, so having a meal ready can make an already pleasurable experience even better. There are even certain foods that contain rich amounts of the amino acid tyrosine that may add to the dopamine boost. Those are chicken and other types of poultry, dairy foods such as milk, cheese, and yogurt, avocados, bananas, pumpkin, sesame seeds, and sweets. So if you want to get creative, keep a few snacks nearby, or have a meal waiting for you when you finish.

Be Prepared

These are all suggestions; best practice is to ask your partner what form of aftercare works for them. Still, it's helpful to keep these tools in your arsenal. If, during your next trip to pound town, you decide you want to keep that visitor around, these suggestions will certainly come in handy. 

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