Neutral Sex Spaces: The Evolution of Hookup Culture

For a single person, planning sex can be a logistical nightmare. Even once you find someone ready and willing to have the type of sex that you're looking for, aligning schedules and deciding where the sex will take place can easily delay or prevent it from taking place altogether. It's partly the reason why location-based apps perform so well; the where and how are moved to the front of the conversation, rather than three or more sentences in, as is usually the case in real life. It's also partly the reason why neutral sex spaces—public or privately hosted locations or events where sex is allowed, encouraged, or commonly known to happen—are slowly picking up steam. 

Because brothels and commercial sex are illegal in virtually every state in the country, you might be oblivious to how many neutral sex spaces exist in your own city. Here's a hint: they are rarely called by their name. While privately run neutral sex spaces may indeed be called sex or freak parties, their commercial counterparts tend to be labeled things like strip clubs, sex shops, adult movie theaters, bathhouses, spas, circuit parties, and more.

It may seem like a foreign concept to the uninitiated, but neutral sex spaces like those described above date back to at least the first century C.E. Details of their prevalence is difficult to ascertain, due in part to the chastity imposed on people in most civilizations, but also the aforementioned illegality they inevitably come with.

Skirting the authorities isn't the only reason for the subterfuge; there's a healthy degree of stigma attached to people who engage in public sex in any capacity, even when privacy and discretion can be guaranteed, so a peripheral activity is helpful for people who prefer to define their outings by what they don't do. It also operates as an alibi for people in committed relationships who may need to convince their partners that they’re maintaining fidelity. 

When tucked away from prying eyes, an individual's sexuality can become whatever they want it to be. Committed, monogamous people may engage in NSA sex. Previously heterosexual people can participate in homosexual sex, without fully indulging in the lifestyle. A disabled person can experience liberation without judgement. People who have never had group sex may finally have the opportunity. 

So often, we pigeonhole our sexual identities to what society expects of us. Even sexual minorities may find it difficult to fully explore their sexuality when faced with the potential for peer scrutiny. I am of the opinion that your sexuality is one of the few things you have complete autonomy over – as long as it happens with consenting adults, and non participants are not physically or psychologically harmed, you should be able to mold your sex life to the pinnacle of your innermost desires. If you ever had trouble doing that in the past, exploring neutral sex spaces safely, either alone or with a partner, may be exactly what you're looking for. 

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